Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Strength Card

I'm still on a high from passing last night's Roller Derby Skills test! Then I discovered that today's tarot card is the Strength card. This card affirms that my alter ego today is the seductive beast of my Animagus, whose superpower is to master self-control to tame fears or impulses to prove of what stuff I'm made. I boldly go... but a willful heart is part of my secret identity. My infinite fortitude is seen by what I do, sacrifice or defy to stand up for what I feel is right, including admitting when I'm wrong, keeping out of it or not dignifying responses provoked by moral cowards and brutes. When resolve is tested I draw on the courage of my true character from the more savage or humble virtues of my natural instincts to maintain objective by composure. This enables me to hold my tongue against bravado, repress claws at empty threats, and not turn tail in pride against passion when it's hard or inconvenient, but to persuade through self-restraint until assimilation is complete or resistance is futile.
True Strength is fortitude of character, and the ability to not only control the emotions, but to rise above them, and triumph over all out lower impulses and desires. Strength is not a card of compassion and love, but a card of quiet yet unstoppable power. Such power radiates from the soul, and for a consciousness aware of this power, there can be no resistance, and no defeat. This is simply mind over matter, superior will over inferior desires. No matter how strong the beast within you seems, you have the power to control it and make it submit to your will. This cannot be done with physical force or with undue haste; it is a slow and difficult process. When Strength is around, however, you can be assured that you have enough endurance to see this task through to its eventual end. If you are pushing too hard, Strength shows the need to withdraw for the moment, and be patient. Enlightenment will come only when the time is right; it cannot be rushed.
Many don't talk about their experience with cancer, or any traumatic event for that matter, because they're afraid to show weakness. But I'm beginning to think that the very fear to show weakness is a weakness in itself. Surely, if you can't draw strength from within, you can certainly draw it from others. But I believe if it isn't at least felt from an honest place inside you, the strength exuded on the outside will be fake and contrived. Being strong isn't shown through a stoic face, or holding back tears. To me, strength is when you expose yourself to the world proclaiming, "This is me! This is what I've been through. Take me as I am!" Showing how you feel on the inside - that's not just strength. That's bravery.
I'm slowly learning to leave yesterday behind. I'm gaining understanding that anxiety about tomorrow steals joy & satisfaction from today. Anxiety disables me when I dwell on what might happen beyond what is absolutely necessary for planning for the future. So, Derby On!

No comments:

Post a Comment