Find Your Grail

I fully intended to post a blog entry last night but I was in a weird space and couldn't put it into words. I was thinking about my mother's upcoming surgery, scheduled for Monday. They originally thought they could do a lumpectomy but her MRI revealed a third cluster in her right breast, so she has to have a partial mastectomy. I made her some of my homemade caramels as she likes them so much and I figure that it will make her feel better. It seems that whenever a crisis of illness or injury occurs, I immediately go into "cooking" mode. I just have to fix food. It's a definite throwback to my childhood. I try not to let my mother's breast cancer diagnosis ramp up my own anxieties but sometimes it overwhelms me. Yesterday was so exhausting. Then this morning dawned bright & clear and Saturday morning is Roller Derby Practice! It put everything in perspective.

A few years back, I was lucky enough to see the hit Monty Python musical, "Spamalot". It was incredibly funny and entertaining. One of the songs in the play is "Find Your Grail", meaning find who you were meant to be, or find what you are meant to be doing in this life. The song expressed the true joy of being you and only you. So many of us plod down a path that was laid out for us by our parents or our upbringing and circumstances at birth. Or we fall into our careers based on whim or chance or what will gain us the most money. We choose as young adults, either after high school or in college, what we will do for the rest of our lives. Our career choices often become our identity. Our egos cling to this, creating a huge story about our life as a ____ (fill in the blank). We may swell up with pride or cringe in embarrassment about what we do. We take it on as if it were who we are. We eventually believe that our professions are who we are and that without this profession, we'd be no one. We weren't born being this vocation, it is a choice and can be unchosen. After all, when introductions are made, the next question is often, what do you do? And we answer with our career choice, I'm a _______! A much more interesting question is "who are you when you're not at work?"

I like the thought of going on a holy quest for the grail, the answer to life's questions about who I am meant to be. I think everyone goes on this quest at some point in their lives. Some do it early, some late. Some do it thoughtfully and well, some don't. Some do it in response to a major illness or accident. The quest is to discover who you are, what your unique gifts are and how they can be expressed in the world.

The lyrics to "Find Your Grail"

LADY OF THE LAKE:

If you trust in your song

Keep your eyes on the goal

Then the prize you won't fail

That's your grail

That's your grail

So be strong

Keep right on

To the end of your song

Do not fail

Find your grail

Find your grail

Find your grail

Life is really up to you

You must choose what to pursue ohh yeeeah

Set your mind on what to find

And there's nothin' you can't doooo

So keep right to the end

You'll find your goal my friend

You won't fail

Find your grail

Find your grai-a-a-a-ail

Find your grail

ALL:

Find your grail

Find your grail

ARTHUR:

When your life

Seems dejeffed

When we all need a lift

Tell yourself you won't fail

Find your grail

Find your grail

Life is really up to you

You must choose what to pursue

Set your mind on what to find

LADY OF THE LAKE:

And there's nothin' you can't do

You can't do

Dooooo!!

ALL:

So keep right (so keep right)

to the end (to the end)

You'll find your goal my friend

Find your grail!

You won't fail

Find your grail

Find your grail

Find your grail!!

LADY OF THE LAKE:

Ohhhh

You'll find it!

You'll find it!

YEEEEAH!

You gotta keep on

Goin round!

Goin round!

Cause I know

YEEEEEEAAAH!

So, who am I when I'm not at work? I AM A ROLLER DERBY GIRL! I have found my grail - it's called the Twin City Derby Girls (TCDG)!! I must give a big shout out to the founding members of TCDG for following their vision and providing us with an awesome sport to pursue. I applaud all the hard work that has brought such a fabulous group of strong, empowered women together. I am proud to be affiliated with you all. Derby On!