Monday, April 12, 2010

Mom's surgery and my obituary

I'm happy to report that my mother came through her surgery with flying colors. She came out of anesthesia talking and asking for food. She responded to her surgery so much better than I did! I came out "tossing my cookies" and avoiding food at all costs. Leave it to my mother to show me up! They did a sentinel node biopsy, which is a surgical procedure that doctors use to stage (determine the extent or spread of) certain types of cancer in patients who have been recently diagnosed with cancer. While they did find some "atypical" cells, they could not determine if the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes. More in-depth testing is needed and the results will take a week. Should it show that it has spread, she would then need to have the lymph nodes removed. So, keep your fingers crossed!
Last night I dreamed that I was writing my own obituary. I'm sure it was due to anxiety over my mother's upcoming surgery but it wasn't a scary process. It was enlightening. If you're looking for a way to motivate and jump start your life, write your own obituary. By writing your own obituary it forces you to take a long, hard look at your life and where you are compared to where you want to be. It's not as morbid as it sounds and can be a life altering experience. So, how do you write your own obituary?
  1. Start off with your name and a completely bizarre way of dying. The stranger the better so writing your own obituary won't feel so morbid.
  2. Set a death date that's 20 to 50 years into the future depending on your age. Be optimistic.
  3. Write a list of your accomplishments and of those accomplishments what you most want people to remember about you as you write your own obituary.
  4. Make a list of the things you would like to accomplish in the next 20 to 50 years and write them down. Keep realistic long term goals in mind.
  5. Take stock of the person you are and the type of person you want to be. One of the best things when you write your own obituary is that it offers you the opportunity to be brutally honest about the person you are verses who you want to be.
  6. List the people you will be leaving behind, and be optimistic.
  7. Assess everything you've written down and put it together in a witty, endearing and thoughtful prose. Put it away and check it every 6 months or so to see where you are in leading the life you said you did.
I woke up with a new sense of purpose as I now know how I want my obituary to read. Then, today's tarot card was the Two of Swords. This card shows those times when you deliberately avoid seeing the truth. Maybe one of your ideas has been proven incorrect and, though you see that you were wrong, you do not want to admit it. It can be painful to remove a blindfold and see the truth, because even the softest light will blind those who have lived in darkness. But being blinded by the light is far preferable to being blinded by darkness. The Two of Swords often represents situations where an answer could be found and the truth could be seen, but where the person or persons involved choose not to see it. I feel like I have chosen to see the truth. I know which path to take. The Two of Swords suggests that my power today lies in opinion or blind instinct. 'I just know it.' My perceptions are sharp, balanced and reasonable and guide my decision or support a position free from momentary distraction or impulse. I honor my authentic self when I choose to protect emotional vulnerabilities without compromising virtue, reputation, or principles. I practice self control but I know that denial can't hide truth forever. 'Once bitten, twice shy.' I am empowered by the status quo and my virtue is justification.

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