My pet peeve

Last night, upon hearing from a friend that she just lost a very good friend to cancer, I reflected upon my own situation. I recognize that I am one of the "lucky" ones. I beat cancer and continue to be healthy but realize that cancer can rear its ugly head again at any time. I sometimes feel like I live my life "on guard", just waiting for the unthinkable to happen again. Knowing that everyday people die from this disease, my pet peeve is when a cancer survivor says that cancer was a gift. I understand that (in an odd way) it can feel like that. I do acknowledge that many women, during and after diagnosis, dig deep inside themselves to find an amazing strength to become much stronger than they ever thought they could be. But I will never agree with that statement because it certainly never felt like that to me. Survivors are often perceived as courageous, partially because they are, and partially because they had to be. When you are given that kind of news it is an eyeball to eyeball with death moment, and most of us suit up with all of the strength we can muster and walk head first into treatment. I actually envisioned myself putting on a suit of armor, grabbing a sword & shield and heading off into battle.

But while you are already questioning every decision you are making, a celebrity like Suzanne Sommers releases a book suggesting that chemo is a pharmaceutical conspiracy. Maybe, but it's the best thing we have going at this point. Sadly, treatment doesn't always work and cancer takes lives. I have made my peace with that but decided to live my life to the fullest extent possible, just in case. I don't hesitate to try anything, whether it be a new sport (roller derby), food (crawfish etouffe) or a new job (working with teen parents) because life is to be lived. That old adage, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" takes on a whole new meaning as I push myself to prove it's true. That reminds me of Warren Zevon's song I'll Sleep When I'm Dead:

So much to do, there's plenty on the farm

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Saturday night I like to raise a little harm

I'll sleep when I'm dead

I'm drinking heartbreak motor oil and Bombay gin

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Straight from the bottle, twisted again

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Well, I take this medicine as prescribed

I'll sleep when I'm dead

It don't matter if I get a little tired

I'll sleep when I'm dead

I've got a .38 special up on the shelf

I'll sleep when I'm dead

If I start acting stupid

I'll shoot myself

I'll sleep when I'm dead

So much to do, there's plenty on the farm

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Saturday night I like to raise a little harm

I'll sleep when I'm dead

The song contains Zevon's trademark cynicism and morbid fascination. It features a man refusing to rest from his damned deeds with the note that he'll sleep when he's dead. The song suggests that with life so short and with only so many Saturday nights to "raise a little harm" there is no time for sleep. It also notes that if he stops being able to keep up his act and starts "acting stupid" that he'll shoot himself. I think it has become my personal anthem!

Life is good!

A big hello to everyone out there. I know it's been a while since I wrote, but as you know, life happens. So, what have I been up to? I have been incredibly busy with Community Green as we opened our second location today! We now have a second shop in Mahomet, IL. Today was the grand opening and it was extremely successful. Urbana had a good opening but Mahomet had a fabulous opening. We ended up opening up early as we had so much interest in our shop! We got lots of positive comments.

And even better, I was offered a job yesterday!!! I will be joining the team at Teen Parenting Service Network to provide individual case consultation for service providers regarding policy and procedure, resources and client issues of placement, education, clinical needs, etc. while protecting teen parents rights. They were extremely interested in my domestic violence background and impressed with my work on the Illinois Certified Domestic Violence Professionals Board. They think I have a lot to offer. And, since it's only 20 hours a week, I can still work with Community Green!!!

In February, I passed my roller derby skills test for the third time (Yay) and continue to skate for The 'Paign. I'm such a maniac when I take that test, throwing myself to the floor during the "falls" portion. But I was actually tamer this go round...still nervous but tamer. You see, there's quite the long laundry list of skills one must be proficient at in order to become and/or remain a derby girl. They have become almost second nature by now since we continually practice them. So, I'm not sure why I freak out about it.

Last weekend, I attended the C4YW conference in New Orleans. C4YW, co-hosted by Living Beyond Breast Cancer and Young Survival Coalition, and generously supported by Lead Sponsor Susan G. Komen for the Cure® is the only international conference dedicated to the issues of young women affected by breast cancer and those who love and care for them. It was my first visit to New Orleans and Bourbon Street. I had a blast (Any of my Facebook friends can attest to that!). The conference was great, too. I learned a lot and made some great new friends. I even tried belly dancing and authentic creole cuisine!

So, knock on wood that my good fortune continues!