Stand

Since it's the day before chemo, the steroids begin again and my anxiety level starts to ramp up. So I was listening to some music and singing along (at the top of my lungs no less) as it helps keep the anxiety down. You should be aware that my singing voice is so atrocious that I was kicked out of the church choir when I was 11 years old. [I'm sure that experience would require many therapy sessions to resolve]. One of the songs that came on was "Stand" by Rascal Flatts. While I've heard it many times before, today I actually listened to it. Then I played it again so I could sing along! The lyrics are as follows:

"Stand"

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

[Chorus:]

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause its all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel

With the end ripped out

The edge of a canyon

With only one way down

Take what you're given before its gone

Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up

And get back in the race

One more small piece of you

Starts to fall into place

Oh

[Repeat Chorus]

Maybe the song should say cancer's like a novel, with the end ripped out as I don't know the ending. I am holding on and plan to keep holding on. Maybe I am experiencing some form of denial as I don't allow myself to even consider not surviving this ordeal. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?