So, why then, after all this rambling, did I join derby? To feel strong, it’s as simple as that! Both mentally and physically strong. I have something to prove to myself. I may have fallen victim to breast cancer but it doesn't get to win. I am still in control of this body, no matter what appendages have been cut off and how much poison has been "infused" into it! I decide what life looks like. For years softball was my sport. Thinking back to playing softball helped me realize that I have been over-thinking roller derby, which throws me off my game! I'm happy to report that today at practice, I stopped thinking too much and just did it. My fear of falling is dwindling. I’m ready to fall and hurt and try harder than I have ever tried, because I am in love with this crazy, awesome sport! Roller derby makes me feel "alive" and "strong"!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Roller Derby: Perfect for girls that ripped the heads off their dolls!
The other day someone again asked why I joined roller derby. My answer is never the same. Sometimes it is, "Why not?" or "I love to skate" or even "It's a great way to take out your aggression". I’ve been thinking about those answers a lot lately. But it wasn’t until today that I completely understood it myself. Although growing up I was always encouraged to be a strong woman (I hail from a long line of extremely strong women), I followed all the rules, believed all the parental threats and fought for good grades like my life depended on it. I'm sure my mother would have preferred to polish me up, but learned early on she had a tomboy on her hands. And for whatever reason, I did not inherit any "fashion sense". I will literally live in the same pair of sweat pants for weeks, I wear my Birkenstocks well into winter, I can cuss like a sailor and I avoid styling my hair (when I have hair!) like the plague. Despite my questionable footwear and lack of fashion sense, I was a good kid. I, in no way, caused problems for my mother (well, maybe some in high school). If you ask her, she'll tell you just how good I was! I was shy and quiet on top of being a hyper-sensitive child who would cry at the drop of as hat! I know, I know, not the person most of you know today.