Cancerville

Did you know that time flies in Cancerville? Maybe it's because time becomes much more precious after a cancer diagnosis. I have been in fast-forward mode since Monday--I almost can't keep up with it all. The only time I don't "have" cancer is when I am asleep. I can escape from Cancerville during blissful sleep. Suddenly, every ache and pain gets attributed to cancer. You become the cancer. This afternoon I had most of my hair cut off. I figure if its going to fall out anyway, I might as well be 3/4 of the way there. A shout out to our good friend Sam, from Bement, who drove in to cut my hair. It may seem like a small gesture but it was so much more than that. I felt by deciding to cut my hair, I have a very small measure of control again. Sam helped me to achieve that. Hannah says my haircut makes me look more like my mother. I'm not sure how I feel about that statement. I already worry about becoming my mother!

For some reason I'm having trouble finding the right words tonight. I'm in a weird place, not blue but not especially upbeat. I guess I'm just tired. I'm already tired of this "burden" and its only just begun. On a less serious note, we now have a vote for tattooing my soon-to-be- bald head and/or make money by using it as a billboard! Thanks to my high school pal Susan for the most creative suggestion so far!