How I got cancer...

Do you remember in elementary school when you returned after the summer break you were asked to write the "How I spent my summer vacation" essay? This is similar except for now I'm making up reasons for getting cancer. My mother's theory is from drinking too much soda pop. Now I think we know where I got my "weirdness" from, huh?! My #1 theory is that I got cancer from the water in Deland, IL. Number 2 is from working & (now living) near the Solo Cup factory. Or maybe from playing tackle football with the boys in high school? Or swimming in Clinton Lake? What about stress? One article I read said that although some studies have shown that factors such as traumatic events and losses can alter immune system functions, these studies have not provided any evidence of a direct cause-and-effect relationship between stress and breast cancer. So perhaps Mike's accident had more consequences than we knew? We'll never know how I contracted this cancer but I'll keep theorizing! Maybe I should stay off the internet as it gives me too much to think about. I have to admit that it is fun to mess with people by giving them my theories of how I got cancer. You'd be surprised at how gullible some folks are! Anyhow, I'd be interested in hearing any outlandish theories anyone else might have!