Friday, June 4, 2010

Why not me?

Not too long ago, while discussing breast cancer, I heard a survivor say, "Why not me?" We had been discussing "why" we had gotten breast cancer. Her statement was so profound. I realized that while I no longer question why I got breast cancer, I have yet to move to that place where I can say, "Why not me?" I am not far enough along in my journey to accept that there is no reason for cancer not to have chosen me. I still have to remind myself that I haven't done anything to put myself in this situation. I am still angry that I am one of the "chosen" ones. Who am I mad at? God? The Universe? A Higher Power? I'm not sure. Sometimes I just rage at the darkness. As it happens, the "Why Me" question falls within a significant stage of grief (anger). I was sure I was through all that but I guess I'm not. Interestingly though, today's tarot card is the Knight of Wands. This card suggests that my power today lies in rising to the occasion. I keep my options open and am ready to ""use it or lose it."" I set trends and I initiate exciting opportunities to get attention, conquer fears, enhance reputation or image, or to express or inspire liberation-often by extreme measures. I am empowered by ambition or the "zest in quest" and I transform through charismatic communication of passion.
There is no card in the Tarot that portrays such daring and enthusiasm as the Knight of Wands. His energy and courage are boundless, and he has no fear of anything; while this sometimes serves to get him into trouble, these are also the means by which he can free himself from any detrimental situation. There are few times when he does not move with the speed of a flash of lightning. When he rides into the area he always kicks up dust behind him, and when he enters your life he can be one of three things. He could be a person around you, an event that you will experience, or a part of yourself that you must bring to the surface. His energy moves with the speed of a raging fire pushed onward by the wind, and with just as much energy as such a blaze. The Knight often represents the coming or going of an important matter, and you can rest assured that these comings and going will be swift ones, no matter what the matter involved.
Such a person, shares his spontaneity and kinetic outlook on life. Though he may seem gruff or even violent at first glance, underneath that armor he wears a warm and generous heart. He will be highly supportive of those he considers friends - and you'd be surprised how high that number can go! He typifies the "knight in shining armor" prototype because he is always swooping into situations, saving the day and then moving on to the next adventure. This suddenness hides a deep sense of morality and honor; he is always ready to protect those who cannot defend themselves. But he cannot stand to stay in one place for long; there is always more to do. Tackle any and all challenges that come into your path, and always be ready to help others who lack your determination and exuberance. Take the torch he offers you and step into the light of your own strength. Just be careful not to burn yourself while holding that flickering flame!
When we are faced with a challenge we often ask “why me”? Why not ask…WHY NOT ME? I realize that this is an opportunity to grow, to learn, to laugh, to cry, to feel, to see, to move, to dance, to accept and to realize how much I am loved. After all, I am stronger than I sometimes believe. I just have to get to that level of acceptance and be truly grateful for the blessings in my life.

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