Suddenly, I am tired. I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life. Hannah's preparing for her college career and I'm wondering if I still belong in the domestic violence field. I am haunted by reflections of a young woman with a wandering spirit and a restless soul, who lustfully craved adventure and never looked back once a decision was made. Driven by the motto "do it now and figure it out later so there'll be no regrets", new and different places were explored without itineraries and frequent relocations relieved chronic boredom. Traditional jobs were confining, daily routine was a breeding ground for restlessness, and a conventional lifestyle was stifling. I thrived on novel experiences and new beginnings, continuously clearing the slate and reinventing myself. Where ever did she go?
Consider the proverbial fork in the road. We have three choices: go left, go right, or stand still and languish in a state if inertia. The decision I make now will potentially shape my destiny for years to come. Ambivalence is a poison that clouds the mind and squashes the spirit. It is always best to chose a path, take a leap of faith and keep moving forward, rather than succumb to the illusory shelter of inactivity. As a person who has often been guilty of running from pain and charging ahead with reckless abandon, I am now focused on the power of standing still. However in standing still I am actually moving forward, because I stand now with peace and clarity rather than frozen in the grips of fear. I think it is not the destination that matters but rather the journey, and life is really just one long journey with many crossroads along the way. As a seasoned traveler with (hopefully) many adventures yet to come, I plan to travel light, celebrate the crossroads, and stop to breathe now and then.