Today's tarot card is the Moon card. The ordeal of the Moon is that you must travel in the dark, not knowing for sure if your path is the right one. There is no sunlight to guide you, no distant landmark in the hills to direct your steps, no one to travel alongside. This is a journey that must be made alone, in darkness and without a map or a compass. You must learn to rely on your own inner light to lead you along the true path. Any hesitation, any doubt, and that light will be extinguished forever. But if you believe, your light will shine forever, as brightly as the sun that will inevitably rise once this night has passed. The Moon's appearance in a reading almost always means that something is not as it appears to be, and that vigilance and perception will be necessary to find that which is hidden before it is too late. In a generally good reading the Moon shows that not all is as wonderful as you would think. You may be idealizing the situation, and ignoring the fact that potential for failure exists among success. A negative reading that includes the Moon often shows that you are letting your imagination run away with you, and that things are not nearly as bad as they seem. In both cases you must open your eyes and see what it really going on.
This card can also show times when you are not sure of your destination, or even of the path you are traveling - but you travel nonetheless. It's quite possible that you have lost your way, and are stumbling around in the dark. If you wait until the sun rises again the path may have changed and the opportunity could have been lost. So what should you do? The Moon is a card of intuition and psychic forces, so let go of your conscious mental blocks and let your intuition guide you. Not only will the way forward be revealed, but in a lot of cases you will learn lessons about yourself that will be valuable in later journeys.
I'm always amazed at the timeliness of the cards as I have been desperately feeling like I need to find a "real" job, not just my volunteer position. As much as I love Community Green, I fear that it won't become a paying job before my unemployment runs out. Or maybe that's the paranoia that comes along with cancer. I once wrote that I didn't know if my paranoia was caused by the chemo drugs (which mess with your brain) or the cancer itself (because it makes you feel like "less" of a person). There have been more than a few instances where the paranoia has gotten the better of me. I think it has to do with the fact that cancer somehow makes you "less" of a person. It's hard living with the paranoid demons in my head that say, "uh oh, your head hurts, must be a tumor" or "uh oh, your body aches, must be the cancer". Believe it or not, it was sometimes hard to live day-to-day once I was diagnosed with cancer. Although there really is no other way to live once you are diagnosed with a life threatening illness. Whether the outlook for recovery is good or not, the days go by, one at a time, and you must learn to live each one. It wasn't always easy. Each person must work through individual feelings of possible death, fear and isolation in her/his own good time. It is hard to overcome these feelings if they are never confronted head on, but it is an ongoing struggle. One day brings feelings of confidence, the next day despair. Many people find it helps considerably if they strive to return to their normal lives. I tried to do so, but lost my job in the middle of all of it, causing yet another blow to my self-esteem. Battling cancer was hard enough but to then have to give up your life's work? Nevertheless I did learn a lot about myself and my priorities shifted. And I have yet to discover where this journey will take me.