I am still a derby girl!

Woo Hoo, today I passed my roller derby skills test! My teammates will just have to continue putting up with me! On April 8, 2010, I wrote a blog entry entitled "I am an 'official' derby girl" when I passed the test the first time. And today, I am still a derby girl! It remains an honor and a privilege to be a Twin City Derby Girl. Again, I wanted to shout it from the rooftop! Instead I celebrated by having a sushi lunch with my sister. We finished off the meal with Creme Brulee! It was delish and just right. When I saw Hannah this afternoon, she asked me if I passed my test. Just to mess with her, I told her "No". She looked so 'paigned (get it "paigned" instead of pained) and asked "Really, you're kidding". Because I was so elated, I couldn't keep it up any longer as I gave her a big smile and said."Yes, I'm kidding, I passed".

Today's tarot card is the Knight of Cups, who is in touch with his intuition, emotions and dreams. He also represents wisdom that comes from your dreams to help you surmount obstacles in your life at the moment. Beneath his calm exterior he is a man of intense passion, though he generally diverts this passion towards reaching his goals and making his dreams come true. His is an idealistic view of life that is scorned by the active and despised by the realist. Inversely, he has no tolerance for people who cannot believe in their dreams. This suggests that my power today lies in passion. Pursuing and expressing my hearts desire honors my love, passion, and beauty and is worth waiting, courting or crusading for. What I lack in external means, qualification or ability, I make up for with a true and dedicated heart. I am not a victim therefore I do not need to be rescued. I am empowered by patience or self-worth and my gift is emotional availability and devotion. I make sure I am in control of my life and my dreams. Must be talking about derby!

So congrats to all the derby girls who passed the test today as well as those who passed on Wednesday. To those taking the test next Tuesday, I know you will do it. We are all sending you our positive energy and support. I will be there to cheer you on! TCDG KTFA

The Wheel of Fortune

After yesterday's meltdown, today's tarot card is the Wheel of Fortune card. This is a type of energy that stands beyond the realm of our understanding and control. Certainly you can experience its effects in life, like you feel the pull of gravity on your body. But just as you can see the apple falling but not the gravity pulling on it, so too are the works of Fate and Destiny invisible to us. Only their results can be seen, and even then, only when Destny itself decrees that the time is right for its effects to be manifested. Unlike the majority of the Major Arcana, the Wheel of Fortune hovers in the clouds, showing that you can try to reach it, but that you can never fully understand it.

The wheel is an apt symbol for the forces of Destiny and Fate because it shows how everything is connected in a cycle; some might call it the circle of life. Everything happens in cycles; we rise and fall just as a spot on the perimeter of a wheel travels from the highest point, through all the possible points on the wheel, and then back to the apex. However changes will affect you depends on where you are on the wheel. If you are at the top then any change could throw you off, but if you are the bottom then a change could start you back up to the top. And for one person to rise another must fall - everyone is connected.

Destiny seems to strike without warning, but often its effects can be seen coming if you know where and how to look for them. This is the principle of the Tarot and divinatory systems in general; to see things coming before they happen so you can prepare. Obviously if you see a wheel with the Sphinx on the top, Typhon the snake on the left, and Hermanubis on the lower right, and you know which way the wheel is turning, you can tell where each of the three figures is going - and you can also tell where they've been. Through careful extrapolation the effects of Destiny become less mysterious, and someday everyone may grasp this idea.

This cyclical structure of Fate is perhaps the only way to really understand how Fate manifests. The conclusion of a situation is found in its beginning, just as the number 10 of the Wheel of Fortune reduces to 1 by the addition of its digits. When you can realize that each beginning leads to an ending, and that each ending is both the results of one beginning and the freshly planted seed of another, then you will have grasped the essential notion of the Wheel of Fortune. And once that notion is grasped, the universe opens up to you, because you are ready to learn all its wisdom. The first hurdle has been passed and greater lessons lie ahead.

The appearance of the Wheel of Fortune shows that change is not only likely to happen, it is certain to happen, and soon. The nature of that change and the effects it has really depend on how much you understand the concepts of Fate, and whether or not you can prepare for it. Generally the change shown in the Wheel of Fortune is a dramatic change from the established order. So if you have been scraping along for a while, expect big changes in your favor within a few days. {Lets hope!} But if you've been feeling on top of the world for a long time, batten down the hatches and keep an eye out for storms - one is bound to hit you sooner or later.

No matter which way the Wheel of Fortune throws you, it's impossible to try and change it, so you might as well try to live with it. If a crisis seems inevitable, recall that in every crisis lies opportunity. When you've been swept in new direction, know that every path leads somewhere, even if you don't know where it is. When times are bad, or when times are good, always keep in mind that they won't last forever. Such events are just out of your control, and if you can accept that then the ride gets a lot easier. If you struggle against the Wheel it will crush you. So roll along with it! Maybe things are looking up?

Please, no more poop!

Just how is it that I attract so much shit? I mean that literally. There has been so much of it in my life lately, that it caused me a major meltdown today. We discovered that the bathroom in the Deland house needs to be completely gutted as the floor has rotted. The shower and the tub are sinking into the crawl space. Seems that the shower drain came unhooked and the water is just running into the crawl space. The moisture has rotted all the wood. Better yet, the septic is on that same line and when the tank filled up, guess where it went. Yep, right into the crawl space. So, I get to put on waders and a mask and get into it so I can scoop it out. Worst of all, I had to ask the renters to move out because we can't do those repairs with people living in the house. I can't risk their health and safety. And because menopause is already making me "girly" and emotional, I just wanted to cry all day! For those who know me well, you know how much I hate that!!! I don't want to show any emotion that is considered "weak".

Money's already so tight with being unemployed that I really can't afford to lose the rent, nor do I have the extra funds to make the repairs. I'm caught in a vicious cycle-I need the rent to make the repairs, but I can't rent it without first repairing it. I have no idea what I'm going to do! It makes me wonder why I keep getting all this shit? Did I do something in a previous life to warrant all this? I like to think that I'm a good person but I seem to have all of this bad karma. I've read the book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" but I still don't have any answers. Again, I ask, why does god hate me so much? I tend to be a fairly optimistic person but this all makes me want to stay in bed and hide under the covers. I think that I'm soon going to need counseling and/or anti-depressants! Well, I do have derby and maybe that will keep me somewhat sane. Now everyone say it with me...No More Poop, No More Poop, No More Poop!!!

Bible Study with Reverend Blaine

As I was reading the business section of the Sunday paper, I noticed the Restaurant Quiz. There was a question about Uncle John's/Aunt Sonya's/Uncle Jack's. It made me realize how much I miss Aunt Sonya's. Not only was the food great, it was a great place to work. I'm not sure I can sufficiently describe the working atmosphere. Don't get me wrong, we worked our asses off but we always had fun. The staff not only worked together, we hung out together. We had a bowling team, sang back up to the band, Gator Alley (whether they wanted us to or not) and attended "Sunday night bible study with Reverend Blaine". Ok, it wasn't really bible study but rather Sunday night at the Rose Bowl. You see, Aunt Sonya's was almost always packed on weekends with a line out the door, so we deserved to unwind. Our bar of choice was the Rose Bowl. We referred to ourselves as The Rose Bowl Queens, often practicing our parade [a/k/a Rose Bowl] wave. You know, the ones beauty queens use (refer to above picture if needed). We even had sweatshirts made that said Rose Bowl Queen on them! I actually still have mine.

It just so happened that one night Blaine, who worked with us, started giving a sermon about pancakes which caused us fits of laughter. So it became "bible study" so we could talk about it at work and no one would know what we were discussing! And every time Blaine joined us, he was required to give us a "breakfast sermon". He always obliged. One Sunday at work, I came up behind Bonnie, who was busing a table and when I leaned down to help she accidently elbowed me in the eye, knocking my glasses off and giving me a black eye. I exclaimed, "Great, now I'll have a black eye for bible study tonight!" Some of our church-going regulars overheard me and told Rose, the manager, how impressed they were that we worked so hard all weekend and yet found time for bible study. Poor Rose almost choked on her coffee as she knew what bible study really was - one hell of a party!

If you've been reading this blog over time, you probably read about Wayne (posted 3/16/10), who always joined us out at the Rose Bowl until his untimely demise. There was never a better date than Wayne. Many staff came and went over the years but so many came back to honor Mr. Moen, Co-Manager and Rose's husband, when he retired. It was a true testament to the work atmosphere at Aunt Sonya's. So many good memories made with great friends. I really, really miss that place.

Six of Swords

I heard back from Florida today. They have decided to hire from within. I think it means I'm not supposed to be in the domestic violence field anymore. And then today's tarot card was the Six of Swords. Sometimes the only way to solve life's problems is to leave them, go someplace new and start over. Though such a retreat can seem cowardly and even illogical (which would violate the Swords ideal of honesty and mental clarity) it is often the only approach left when all others have failed. After times of dreadful confusion and strife, the Six of Swords shows you that the only way to escape the turbulent waters of our emotions may be to leave them behind.

The almost universal nautical symbolism of the Six of Swords shows that this is not only a time to get away from problems, but to chart a new course that will hopefully lead to greater happiness and glory. The mental clarity of the Swords suit is easily put to use here, and before you completely move away from a situation, the Six of Swords shows the necessity to take a look at where you've been and where you're going. This mental clarity will also serve to smooth the way ahead, and make the passage from negative to positive as peaceful as possible. Though the waters behind are choppy, there are no rough seas ahead to slow your progress.

The symbolism of the swords stuck in the boat denotes the power of a rational mind over the heart and the intuition, but not in the same way as the Three of Swords does. The control on that card is swift and brutal; here it is more passive and sometimes even welcomed after drawn-out emotional conflict. While there is often an aura of depression and sadness associated with the Six, such a transition from a negative venue to a more positive one should be seen as cause for celebration and joy. It is only when you cling to the past that the necessity of moving on into the future will cause pain.

Instead of ruling the emotions, the Six of Swords actually offers a highly controlled balance of logic and intuition. This is how true mental clarity arises; you can use your intuition to guide you through easy situations and call upon your impartial and analytical nature when it is needed for a more complex decision. Do not seek to suppress your emotions any more than a sea captain would want to eliminate the water. Rather, respect their presence and their power in your life, and use them to your advantage. When a balance between head and heart is achieved, truly great things can be accomplished.

So, what does my future hold?

2011-Year of the Poop?

This is a picture of the Toilet Mug I got Bert for Christmas! I was reading an article about the 10 worst Christmas gifts and knew I had to get it for her. After all, doesn't every plumber need one?

The Chinese Zodiac says that 2011 is the Year of the Rabbit, which occurs from February 3, 2011 to January 22, 2012. The Year of the Rabbit should be a peaceful year, much welcomed after the Year of the Tiger. Rules and regulations will not be as strictly enforced and people will have fun and relax. Overall, it should be a moderate year with an easygoing pace. But I think it's the Year of the Poop! Between Mike and Harley, all I've done today is wipe asses! Although, technically it's still the Year of the Tiger, which might explain the poop! Seems that drama, intensity and change were the keywords for 2010 [ya think?] The Year of the Tiger brought far reaching changes for many of us.

As it was, I was born in the year of the Rabbit. My Chinese Horoscope says the hare simply leaps over obstacles in his path and recovers from calamities with remarkable resilience. No matter how he is tossed, he lands on his feet. He may not be close to his family but will make every effort to provide them with the best of everything. His soft, vulnerable-looking exterior is protected by an armor of cautiousness and sagacity. In life, the Rabbit will avoid being drawn into conflict at any cost, unless, of course, it affects him directly, at which time he will take the appropriate measures to protect his interests. [Mike's friends always said that Mike thought he was the bad-ass of the relationship but they all knew it was me]. There is no great inner struggle in the Rabbit's heart between the forces of good and evil. He believes in his own ability to survive, relies on his own judgment and is at peace with himself. [I am pretty fabulous!] His is the sign most apt to find happiness and contentment. In any situation, you can always rely on the Rabbit to be in control of herself. She will notice the license number of the getaway car or remember that the driver was wearing camel-colored trousers or elevator shoes. And while you are at the police station filing that report, she will calmly recall all the details and help you answer all those irritating questions.

So, what will 2011 bring my way? More poop for sure but hopefully a new job. Before Christmas I did receive a call from Florida asking if I would be interested in another position they have open. I told them I'd be happy to discuss it with them. I immediately called my friend Deb and told her that we might have to "road trip" it to Tallahassee! I'm waiting to hear back from them to discuss the position and determine if it is worth my while. But can I really give up all this poop? Hell, yeah! But I would most certainly miss my Twin City Derby Girls. Luckily they do have roller derby in Tallahassee. Just 2 more weeks and the new season begins. I can't wait!!! I (heart) derby!