The Christmas Gift

Have you ever had life kick you in the ass to remind you that your life isn't so bad? That happened to me today. I've been in a terrible funk the last few days because I didn't get a job I really, really wanted. It's been "Merry F***ing Christmas, Life sucks" since I got the news. Then, tonight as we were closing the shop, a customer we have known for the past 7 months, who is battling cancer, stopped in because she was in need and felt she had nowhere else to turn. She was just informed that she has 6 months to live and that this will be her last Christmas. She had no gas, no medicine and no presents for her grandchildren. Community Green opened the entire shop to her and told her to shop for whatever she wanted/needed. This generous woman makes baby blankets for children's hospitals and we had previously donated material to her to assist in her project. Tonight we provided her money for gas and medicine, Christmas gifts & decorations, along with a bag full of material for her blanket project. She said she just wants to spend the time she has left making baby blankets. With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I suddenly felt very ashamed of my whining and bad attitude. I should consider myself extremely fortunate as I have my health as well as good friends and family.

Ironically, the tarot card of the day on Thursday (when I received what I call the "Fuck you very much & by the way you suck" rejection letter) was the World card. The World could be thought of as a time of rest, the time between death and life where the soul awaits reincarnation in the material world and - for the briefest of periods - becomes one with the universe from which it came. All the lessons learned have been put to use. All the tasks accomplished have born fruit and brought prosperity. Every cause has had its effects and all of the diverse threads of effects have been woven into a tapestry of your life as you have lived it. Now is a time to enjoy your wisdom, savour your prosperity and admire the personal artwork you have created, for soon you will start it all over again. The journey may have stopped for the moment, and it may have transcended the plane on which you started, but the journey of the soul never ends.

A new beginning is found in the end, the pieces are in place for a new journey to start, and after that one is completed, another will surely commence. After a glimpse of the Divine you return to manifestation, sure of your convictions and in your ability to someday see the face of God again. The cycle is as endless as the wreath that surrounds the scene, tied together by the ribbons of Divine force, and spiraling around the universe until the end of time. The World card marks a time in your life in which one cycle is over and the next is just beginning. It represents the final achievement of all your worldly expectations and desires, and the imminent approach of new desires to follow and new goals to peruse. The World itself remains the ultimate goal, because it is an affirmation of life and an arrival at a perfect state of harmony and bliss. This is the confirmation of success and the reward for all your trials and ordeals. With the coming of the World comes assured success and material well-being, as well as emotional fulfillment, and growth in the spiritual sense.

In the material world, this card's energy often manifests as a promotion to a higher position or an initiation to a new level of knowledge that was only dreamed of before. But this time of rejoicing and happiness, this peak of ecstasy, merely gives us a glimpse of the next mountain on the horizon. So once again you must step up to the cliff and leap off, ready to start a new Fool's journey and find what secrets lie in this new level of existence. The cycle of the Major Arcana begins where it ends and ends where it begins; start and finish are no longer the ends of straight line, but coincident points on the circumference of a circle that encapsulates your life. The present is now. The future is now. Eternity is now.

I can't help but think it mean the end of my career in domestic violence. If my experience tonight isn't a sign, I don't know what is. Perhaps I am supposed to be focusing all my energy on Community Green?! I have found it extremely difficult to give up that part of me that devoted 25 years toward ending violence against women. It's like giving up a part of myself. But it might just be time to let it go. So Merry Christmas everyone and please take time time this holiday season to cherish the ones you love.