18 & 8

I'm a little pensive tonight as today is Hannah's 18th birthday. [Happy Birthday, Hannah!] While I have been preparing for this moment since the day she was born, I'm still not ready. I lost a few years of her growing up after Mike's accident and just as we were getting back on track, the cancer hit. I fear she had to grow up way too fast. Life has taken us on a journey we could not have expected. Luckily she has adapted and faced it head on. She has become a beautiful young woman with a good head on her shoulders. We are extremely proud of her.

And today's tarot card was the Eight of Cups. The lesson the Eight of Cups gives us is this: the past is gone and it cannot be changed, so you might as well make the most of the future. You cannot go backward and you cannot stay where you are, and the time has come for you to move on. This is in many ways a card of self-discovery, urging you to pursue your true path and find something better. An old ambition may have to be abandoned but a new one will certainly arise. Recognizing when it is time to move on, away from difficult times, is the primary theme of the Eight of Cups. So, is this talking about Hannah's growing up or my employment situation? I did have an interview today so we'll soon see what comes of it.

Another type of energy stagnation illustrated here is simple lethargy, the lack of motivation and desire to achieve. Such apathy generally manifests as complaining about how good the past was and how bleak the future looks. I try not to dwell on life before Mike's accident because there is no going back. That life was good and I miss it. Tying into the theme, and usually fitting with the card's symbolism, is the notion that physical sacrifices must be made for spiritual growth to happen. The card show the man walking away from his eight golden cups, neatly stacked, to the barren wasteland ahead. This represents a search for higher truth when the everyday truths of the material world are no longer sufficient to satisfy the soul. In many ways the Eight of Cups is tied to the Hermit and the Hanged Man, who give up their friends and their freedom, respectively, to seek wisdom. The sacrifice intended on the Eight of Cups comes from the heart, but the wisdom earned fills the void that is created. Geez, what more do I need to give up? My marital relationship, my life's work, a car, a house and one breast are gone. I'm not sure there's much left to give. Spiritual enlightenment had better come soon!!!