"Tami Management"

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can

determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

~Carl Sandburg

If you've been reading this blog, you may know that I have talked about just how precious time is and how it now "flies" for me. And in that vein, you need to know that time management is a myth! No matter how organized we are, there are always only 24 hours in a day. Time doesn't change. All we can actually manage is ourselves and what we do with the time that we have. I like to call it "Tami Management" rather than Time Management! The focus of time management is actually changing your behaviors, not changing time. Maximize your day with these seven tips courtesy of LifeOrganizers.com. Then, apply them again tomorrow.

7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Days

1. Write a To Do list - Include from 4-6 tasks on your To Do List, and work on those items. Don't allow yourself to put anything else on your list, until those initial items are completed. In addition, be sure you have a mix of A (High), B (Medium) and C (Low) Priority items on your list. Try to have your list reflect 60% 'A' Priority items, 30% 'B' Priority items and 10% 'C' Priority items.

2. Write a NOT To Do List - Write a list of what you're doing each week that you want to stop doing. Remember, you have the power to say 'No.' The choice is yours.

3. Give yourself an hour - Give yourself a minimum of an hour a day. Use this time to read, meditate, enjoy your garden, take a walk in the park--whatever it is that you love to do. And whatever you do, don't break that appointment with yourself.

4. Get enough sleep - Determine how many hours of sleep you need, and get that needed sleep each night. If possible, try to go to bed at the same time each night, and wake up at the same time each day. This will help your body get into a routine.

5. Take short energy breaks - If you're hungry or you are feeling light-head, take a short break and have a snack--something nutritious.

6. Eliminate interruptions - If you really need to get something done, it's important to focus. And the only way to focus is to eliminate interruptions. Close your office door. Let your calls go to your voicemail or answering machine.

7. Define your hours - If you need to work on something important every day, define the hours you plan to work on that project and block those hours of time out on your calendar.

Establish your true priorities, and then allow yourself the time to do what needs to be done. Anything less will result in stress and disappointment. You may just find yourself stress-free and most successful when you give yourself permission to take the time to do things that are important, and even more successful when you allow yourself the time to do them right.

Saturday is "Me" Day

Since my mother now has breast cancer, I've been thinking about my own diagnosis lately. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, it was unreal. It was difficult to accept that my body was betraying me by harboring a life-threatening illness because I felt no pain and appeared to be just fine. But losing my left breast made it all too real. I felt denial, anger, anxiety and even grief, which I understand are perfectly normal responses to such a traumatic event. I felt assaulted, first by the cancer, then by the surgery and then by chemotherapy. I also experienced those same feelings one feels after being assaulted: loss of control, fear, and self-doubt (big time). Having breast cancer challenged my self-esteem, my sense of who I was, my self-worth and self-image. I had to adjust to the changes in my body yet recognize that I still possess all the qualities that make me who I am.

I also felt relieved after the surgery since the cancerous tumor was gone, happy to be alive and determined to let go of all the negativity. I am fearful of recurrence, unsure about reconstruction and confident in my survival. I know that all of these feelings and fears are valid. Being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease forces you to confront your fears about death. We are all mortal; we are all going to die someday. I am finding that the best way to come to terms with my fears about death is to face them, accept them and go on living. That is how "Me" Day came about! Now, I haven't ever been good at taking time for myself and this has taken some effort on my part, but I'm doing it.

On Saturdays, I drop Mike off at the Circle of Friends Day Center and head off to roller derby practice. Once done with practice, I have about 4 hours to myself. I can choose to spend it by myself or with others. Sometimes I take myself to lunch with a good book. Other times I head to the bookstore or the library. One Saturday I went to lunch with my sister and mother before spending the afternoon with a good book. Once, I even went shopping (which I usually find bothersome at the very least). As the weather turns warmer, who knows what I'll be off doing?! Taking time for myself is really about self-care and is an extremely important component to creating the life I want. It is about honoring myself and connecting with myself. Taking care of myself is one of the first steps on the journey of discovering my truth and accessing my creativity. When I take time for myself it allows me to stop doing for awhile and to just BE. It is in the BEing where my power lies. I automatically raise my standards and capabilities and create potential and possibility in my life. When I honor and nurture myself I can hear my inner voice much more clearly - I can hear my own truth and this connection enables me to live authentically. I want a life "well-lived" with no regrets!

Radiation Therapy

I've been reading up on radiation since my mother is a good candidate for it (if she has a lumpectomy). I was under the impression that radiation is easier on the body than chemotherapy but the more I learn about radiation, the less I think that. But patients should only experience side effects related to the area of the body being given the radiation therapy. Side effects usually begin by the second or third week of treatment, and they may last for several weeks after the final radiation treatment. In rare instances, serious side effects develop after radiation therapy is finished. The side effect most often reported by patients receiving radiation is fatigue. The fatigue patients experience is usually not very severe, and patients can often continue all or some of their normal daily activities with a reduced schedule. Many patients continue to work full time during radiation therapy.

Tumors are made up of cells that are reproducing at abnormally high rates. Radiation therapy specifically acts against cells that are reproducing rapidly. Normal cells are programmed to stop reproducing (or dividing) when they come into contact with other cells. In the case of a tumor, this stop mechanism is missing, causing cells to continue to divide over and over. It is the DNA of the cell that makes it capable of reproducing. Radiation therapy uses high energy x-rays to damage the DNA of cells, thereby killing the cancer cells, or at least stopping them from reproducing. Radiation also damages normal cells, but because normal cells are growing more slowly, they are better able to repair this radiation damage than are cancer cells. In order to give normal cells time to heal and to reduce a patient's side effects, radiation treatments are typically given in small daily doses, five days a week, over a six-or seven-week period. It is estimated that more than 50% of cancer patients will receive radiation at some point during their treatment.

Radiation therapy is considered to be a "local" therapy, meaning it treats a specific localized area of the body. This is in contrast to systemic therapies, such as chemotherapy, which travel throughout the body. There are two main types of radiation therapy: external radiation therapy, where a beam of radiation is directed from outside the body, and internal radiation therapy, also called brachytherapy or implant therapy, where a source of radioactivity is surgically placed inside the body near the tumor. We should know next week what she will be facing.

Breast Cancer Patients' Bill of Rights

I feel like I'm back at square one with my mother's breast cancer diagnosis. So, remembering how overwhelming hearing the words, "You have breast cancer" was for me, I wanted to make sure that my mother knows what she has the right to expect. As a breast cancer patient she has a right to:

• A diagnosis within a week of a suspicious mammogram and biopsy. A quick diagnosis will help to allay anxiety.
• A prompt referral (within three days) by her family doctor to a breast specialist or team specializing in breast cancer.
• A breast specialist with whom she feels comfortable. She may feel that she doesn't have time to find a good caregiver, but most breast cancers are slow-growing. She should ask her family doctor if there is anything about her diagnosis that would prevent her from taking the time to find a good specialist.
• A specific diagnosis. She now knows she has breast cancer, but she needs to know its attributes. Is it estrogen dependent? How many lymph nodes are involved? What stage is the cancer? The answers to these questions will dictate her treatment.
• A second opinion. Mistakes can be made, so she'll want to confirm the details of her diagnosis. Her biopsy slides should be sent to a pathologist (preferably one who specializes in analyzing breast tissue) at a different institution. In addition, she may want a second opinion when it comes to deciding on her treatment.
• A copy of her medical records, including the pathology report. She'll need them to obtain a second opinion and for your her files. Most states allow consumers access to their records, but may charge a small fee.
• Information about her condition and treatment options in language she can understand. If the doctor is having trouble communicating in layman's terms, he/she should recommend books or Web sites that might offer clearer explanations.
• Know the scientific evidence behind the doctor's treatment recommendation, and the strength of that evidence. Doctors are often influenced by their peers in the way they treat diseases. For instance, studies have shown that women are more likely to get a mastectomy if they live in the Midwest. Scientific evidence shows that a lumpectomy with radiation is often equally beneficial.
• Information about the benefits and risks of a particular treatment in her case-including the benefits and risks of not having the treatment.
• Information about clinical trials. Some doctors don't recommend clinical trials to their patients because they don't want to admit that they don't know something about breast cancer. Plus, some doctors don't want to lose a patient to a clinical trial for financial reasons. So she should ask your physician if he/she knows of any studies she might be eligible for, and check the list of trials at the National In-stitutes of Health Web site: www. clinicaltrials.gov.
• A referral to another breast specialist if she's having trouble communicating with her doctor. If she's not happy with her doctor's referral, she should ask other breast-cancer patients in her community about their physicians.

Another breast cancer diagnosis in the family

Today my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has a small, cancerous lump in her right breast. It is less than 2 cm. They are thinking lumpectomy. A lumpectomy is a surgical procedure that involves removing a suspected malignant (cancerous) tumor, or lump, and a small portion of the surrounding tissue from the breast. This tissue is then tested to determine if it contains cancerous cells. A number of lymph nodes may also be removed to test them for cancerous cells (sentinel lymph node biopsy or axillary dissection). If cancerous cells are discovered in the tissue sample or nodes, additional surgery or treatment may be necessary. Women who undergo a lumpectomy normally receive radiation therapy (RT) for about six weeks following the procedure to kill any cancer cells that may have been missed with the removal of the tumor.

Radiation therapy is used as an attempt to kill any cancer cells that may have been missed during the lumpectomy. Radiation therapy is a standard follow-up treatment for any woman who has had a lumpectomy. The woman is typically scheduled to receive radiation therapy for about six weeks beginning as soon as possible after the lumpectomy, usually after the breast has been given some time to heal (about a month). Radiation therapy is given daily, with each session usually lasting a half hour or less, and does not cause any pain. Some women with small tumors may be candidates for local breast irradiation that is given twice a day for five days. Chemotherapy may be given to the woman, especially if tests reveal that the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. The doctor may also prescribe tamoxifen (Nolvadex) or recommend hormone therapy.

I did not have the option of a lumpectomy as my tumor was too large. I also did not need radiation since the entire breast was removed. So, this is a whole different ball game. I'm trying to talk her into having her treatment down here so we can be available to help but she is so damn stubborn. I can only hope that she doesn't need chemo as chemo is HELL! I wouldn't wish chemo on my worst enemy. Strangely, I feel like I'm reliving my own diagnosis as all the fear and uncertainty came flooding back. I also don't have enough information on her diagnosis so it's hard to know how to suggest she proceed. She sees her surgeon on the 11th. Although this isn't about me, I just don't know if I can wait that long to know how to proceed because the waiting is the worst!

Obsessed with death?

For a while now, I thought that I was obsessed with death. Then, I found this on the internet:

5 Ways that Prove You are Obsessed with Death

Your Favorite Websites are:

www.mydeathspace.com at this website you will find the recently deceased myspace members and the cause for their deaths. This website allows you to view their myspace page as well. A warning, some are very sad and disturbing!

www.deathclock.com go here if you want to put in a little information about yourself and see when "The death clock" predicts you will expire. They use different little things that you do to predict this event.

www.deathsearch.org this is one of the largest Death and Obituary databases there are online. Here you can find anyone that has died in the world, for a fee of course, in less than a minute.

Your favorite things to do:

Visiting cemeteries and looking at the pictures on all the graves. Maybe taking snap shots of the graves and when you show the pictures adding that you admired the flowers. Checking to see the birthdates and see if they match your own or someone you know.

Your favorite things to read:

All the books and magazines that cater to poor old Hollywood tragic short life situations. Maybe, you've just become obsessed with sad poets such as Sylvia Plath, Sarah Hannah or some of the others that have commited suicide and write such deep depressing poetry and thoughts on it.

Your favorite DVD's:

You have all the faces of Death movies 1, 11, 111, 1111..worse of faces of Death, faces of Death fact or fiction etc... These are movies that "supposedly" show the faces of real live "deaths". It is very graphic and not for the young or sensitive!!

Your favorite things to write:

Your "Last Will and Testament" is an absolute necessity, but some people change their will several times a month!

Writing poetry and journals that speak of death as though it was going to happen in the next second.

Ok, I will admit to #3, reading about those who have died tragically but I guess I'm not so obsessed after all! The truth is we all are going to die eventually, but it is not healthy to dwell on it every day, not for your health or your state of mind! That's good because I like to think I'm obsessed with living these days!

Isn't roller derby dangerous?

Sport, or not a sport ...

Roller derby: Little-known fact: If you stare in a mirror and say

"roller derby is not a sport" five times, the ghost of Ann Calvello*

will appear and bodycheck you into the rail.

Ruling: Sport

You'd be surprised at how many people ask me if roller derby is dangerous. Those who think I'm crazy for joining ask that question. Like any contact sport, participants in modern roller derby may experience physical injury. Bumps, bruises, and scrapes are fairly universal, and many derby girls look on them as badges of honor. More serious injuries can include broken limbs and tailbones, separated shoulders, and ligament tears, particularly in the knees. To minimize these risks, skaters practice injury-avoidance techniques like falling correctly, and work on strength and conditioning to ensure they're in good enough shape to take the beating. A typical roller derby practice session consists of less than 50% scrimmage activity, and focuses more on basic skills, strength, endurance, and safety. Derby skaters also wear a protective equipment to prevent serious injury. Modern derby rulesets (and insurance providers) require skaters to wear helmets, mouth guards, elbow pads, wrist guards, and knee pads. Some skaters elect to wear additional protection, such as tailbone protectors or padded shorts. For a little perspective, it's worth pointing out that cheerleading remains the most dangerous sport girls commonly engage in today.

*Ann Theresa Calvello (August 1, 1929 – March 14, 2006) was a U.S. athlete and notable personality in the sport of roller derby. Calvello had competed in roller derby in seven decades: the 1940s through the 2000s. She broke into the sport in 1948 originally skating for a league called International Rollerspeedway. Calvello, who often sported dyed hair and wild makeup, was known for her temper along with her unconventional looks.